Most of the time a child knows the abuser well. Sometimes people who abuse children were abused when they were children. Sometimes, people who abuse kids can show some signs. For example, parents who abuse their children may:. Kids and teens often have a hard time speaking up about abuse. So knowing the signs of child abuse can help.
Kids who see abuse but are not the victims themselves or see violence between adults caring for them sometimes show similar signs. These signs don't always point to abuse. Kids going through stressful times — like their parents' separation or divorce, a move, or the death of a loved one — also might be sad, angry, or withdrawn. But if physical signs like bruises happen along with behavior problems, that's a stronger sign of abuse.
If you think a child is being abused or a child tells you about abuse , contact your local:. You don't have to give your name. You might not be sure of the abuse, but having a concern is enough. The authorities will look into things and find out if abuse is happening. Keeping the abuse a secret doesn't protect anyone from being abused — it only makes it more likely that the abuse will continue and possibly affect more people.
If you need help right away and are in danger, call Tell them your name and where you are so they can get you help. If you or someone you know is being abused, talk to an adult you or your friend can trust — a family member, a trusted teacher, a doctor, or a school or religious youth counselor. Many teachers and counselors have training in how to recognize and report abuse. If the first adult you tell does not seem to listen, keep telling adults until someone responds. Getting help and support is an important first step.
Working with a therapist can help people sort through the complicated feelings and reactions that being abused creates. The process can help someone rebuild feelings of safety and confidence. Most teens who get the help they need report feeling much better about themselves.
It takes a lot of courage to talk about this kind of thing, and sometimes it takes a while to feel strong enough to talk about it. That's OK. In the end, telling a safe person is the bravest thing you can do. It can feel really good to take steps to stay safe and stop abuse from happening.
If you can't tell a trusted adult, contact a crisis support group. If you live in the United States:. Outside the U. Sometimes people who are being abused by someone at home need to find a safe place to live for a while.
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Health Conditions Discover Plan Connect. Understanding the Causes of Child Abuse. Medically reviewed by Karen Gill, M. What to do if you suspect a child is being hurt. What is child abuse? The facts of child abuse. Consequences of abuse during childhood. How to spot the signs of child abuse. Teen parents, for example, might have unrealistic expectations about how much care babies and small children need.
Or parents who were themselves victims of child abuse may only know how to raise their children the way they were raised. Parenting classes, therapy, and caregiver support groups are great resources for learning better parenting skills.
Stress and lack of support. Caring for a child with a disability, special needs, or difficult behaviors is also a challenge. If you grew up in a household where screaming and shouting or violence was the norm, you may not know any other way to raise your kids. Recognizing that you have a problem is the biggest step to getting help. The following are warning signs that you may be crossing the line into abuse:.
What starts as a swat on the backside may turn into multiple hits getting harder and harder. You may shake your child more and more and finally throw them down. You feel emotionally disconnected from your child.
You just want to be left alone and for your child to be quiet. Meeting the daily needs of your child seems impossible. Other people have expressed concern. It may be easy to bristle at other people expressing concern.
However, consider carefully what they have to say. Are the words coming from someone you normally respect and trust? If you have a history of child abuse, having your own children can trigger strong memories and feelings that you may have repressed.
But you can learn new ways to manage your emotions and break your old patterns. Help and support are available:. Learn what is age appropriate and what is not. Having realistic expectations of what children can handle at certain ages will help you avoid frustration and anger at normal child behavior.
For example, newborns are not going to sleep through the night without a peep, and toddlers are not going to be able to sit quietly for extended periods of time. Develop new parenting skills. Start by learning appropriate discipline techniques and how to set clear boundaries for your children. Parenting classes, books, and seminars offer this information.
You can also turn to other parents for tips and advice. Take care of yourself. Sleep deprivation, common in parents of young children, adds to moodiness and irritability—exactly what you are trying to avoid. Get professional help. Breaking the cycle of abuse can be very difficult if the patterns are strongly entrenched.
Your children will thank you for it. Learn to control your emotions. If you were abused or neglected as a child, you may have an especially difficult time getting in touch with your range of emotions. You may have had to deny or repress them as a child, and now they spill out without your control. What should you do if you suspect that a child is being abused? Or if a child confides in you?
Child abuse is a difficult subject that can be hard to accept and even harder to talk about—for both you and the child. When talking with an abused child, the best way to encourage them is to show calm reassurance and unconditional support. Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial.
However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down.
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