I parked my car in a secluded spot by my school and we sat in the back of my small Honda Accord. I reverse parked it so we could see any oncoming cars entering the parking lot. At this point it was rainy and and foggy out there. We secured the blankets, covering the windows should anyone look in, and I took down whatever chain hung around my rear view mirror so no one would recognize the car. A lot of thought went into this day.
We go down on each other. His balls smelled, and they smelled bad. So I put the condom on for him and sit on his lap. It hurts, but we keep going. I put my undies and bra back on, we take down the blankets, and he cleans up. We still laugh about it to this day and I still have the undies I lost my v-card in. I hope you guys feel as awkward as I did writing this. I was 22 and he was my first real boyfriend. We had been friends for years before we got together but had only been actually dating a few months.
I was so nervous and full of adrenaline that I my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. He eventually managed to calm me down and we got into it. He stayed over and we tried again later. Everything went smoothly the second time and we had a running joke about our downstairs mice infestation. My husband and I were 20 when we got married and never had sex til our wedding night. I was pretty nervous about it. Mostly being completely naked together like that. But it was gentle and loving and sweet and passionate—everything I thought it would be.
We did it about 6 times in the first 12 hours XD. I was heavily wet and I remember a hot quick pain as he penetrated me and then a huge pressure as he entered fully. It was a little sore but a good sensation like needing to pee. It was classic missionary style with my legs bent at the knee and spread a little.
The first few thrusts were a little uncomfortable, but after that it felt good and natural. I was quite spiritual back then. Also, I thought I was in love, but the guy was an absolute asshole- however, in this case, he was a means to an end. So no regrets. It seems that sex is something our society is obsessed about, even though in reality I believe everyone can live without. Anonymous man, The reason I am still a virgin is that I am very well endowed.
The ladies in my life have found it really hard to relax when it comes to having sex with me due to expecting intercourse to hurt them. I have been intimate in other ways, however, and even been in three long-term relationships. Being a virgin later in life feels the same as being a virgin as a teenager.
The only difference is, rather than worrying about being the odd one out, there are more things going on in the world to be hung up over. Especially now kids are being born in our circle of friends. I am 41 and gay and have always lived in a small town with very limited access to any kind of gay community. Although I have been to a few gay clubs I have never met anyone there. It just feels like a whole section of my life I am missing out on. What worries me most about sex is that I have no experience, I have never had to show my body to anyone and although I am in no way ugly I have never had to worry about things like bikini waxes, or staying slim for a partner.
But when I do finally meet someone, will my naked body be OK for my partner? Also the actual act of having sex scares me — what do I do? I was a virgin until 42, and there were several reasons: I was introverted, bookish, and strong-willed.
I have always been a good Catholic, so simply decided a career in science and many rich friendships were preferable to marriage etc. I had a happy and fulfilled life and career, and did much volunteer work which was emotionally fulfilling. Was maintaining your virginity a conscious choice or did it just happen that way? Woman A: In high school it was a somewhat conscious choice, but not in a "I'm not having sex before marriage" kind of way.
The first few people I had dated were my high school boyfriend who I wasn't attracted to sexually and didn't realize that was the problem until after we ended things, and then my prom date who was more sexually aggressive than I was, which made me uncomfortable obviously.
In both situations I was criticized for how I was performing different sex acts and asked things like, "Do you even know what you're doing?
In college, my main relationship was with my first love, and I thought I would lose my virginity with him, partly because he was a virgin as well.
Our relationship was very tumultuous though and there never seemed to be a time where we wanted to take that next step because I think we were both scared it would physically hurt ourselves or the other person somehow. Woman B: It was never a conscious choice. I'm an introvert and have struggled with anxiety issues in the past, so dating hasn't always been easy.
I also went to a women's college, which was a fantastic experience, but didn't leave me a lot of opportunities to meet guys. I've honestly just never met a guy who seemed worth it. The few guys I have considered sleeping with were situations that didn't work out.
Either we met briefly while I was visiting a friend in a different city, or we went on a couple dates and then things faded out. I don't feel comfortable just casually hitting up someone to take my virginity at this point. Woman A: On average I masturbate pretty often, maybe every other day or every day. I watch porn pretty frequently and lately I watch it almost every time I masturbate. If I was in a relationship, I probably wouldn't use it as much because I'd be thinking about specific situations or partners.
However, I don't watch porn in which straight people are having intercourse. I guess because I don't want the experience to be "ruined" for me by spoiling it with watching the act, so I mostly just watch scenes with a lot of foreplay or masturbation stuff.
Gay and lesbian porn is fair game too. Woman B: I masturbate every couple of days and I usually watch porn when I do it. Woman C: About 3 times a week-ish for both. Woman A: I have. I had a fairly serious high school relationship that lasted nine months. He came out as bisexual halfway through the relationship, but I kind of suspected that he was gay, which he later told me he was.
Then I was kind of seeing my prom date for a while and that was the first time I'd known how it felt to be really, actually attracted to someone. The only relationship I had so far that felt was real started in college.
We were super compatible and very attracted to one another, but he was a man-child and we broke up after almost a year. However, we kept hooking up on and off for almost three years, with several heartbreaking, painful mini breakups in between.
Eventually, as we got more experienced with oral sex and fingering and I was feeling more and more in love with him, I wanted to lose my virginity to him. The only thing that stopped me was I had always felt that since our relationship was so turbulent, sex with him seemed like it would've just ended up hurting me in the end. Overall, the fact that I hadn't had sex yet and wanted to and that push and pull in my mind felt like a constant pressure.
Now I regret not doing losing my virginity to him. Woman B: I've never really had a relationship. In high school I had an intense relationship with a girl I met at a summer program. In hindsight, I was really depressed and so was she, and I felt like she was the only person in the world who understood me. She was attracted to me and I liked that, so I convinced myself I must be into her physically too.
We started fooling around, but it only lasted five minutes and I cried afterwards. I told her I was crying because we didn't live near each other and couldn't be together, but really I didn't want to have sex and felt ashamed that I'd used her emotionally and told her I wanted to have sex when I didn't.
Years later I wrote her a letter apologizing for leading her on, but I never heard back. I felt guilty about that for a long time, but I've forgiven myself now. I was 16, and really deeply unhappy, and the boys I liked weren't into me, and I just took whatever affection I could get. After that I never had any real romantic experiences until college. I made out with a few guys at parties and once with a close male friend.
Over the years I've met a couple guys I've liked enough to make out with but it's never been a situation that could turn into dating. I've gone on dates with guys, mostly via Tinder and Hinge, but it never leads anywhere.
I enjoy my own company and cherish my own space and I find dating really exhausting. Most of my friends are in relationships or are gay women, so I tend not to meet people other than via online dating, and it's so easy to write people off on dating apps. Like, why should I invest two weeks of my life texting this stranger and then meeting up when I probably won't like him anyway? Woman C: I have never had a serious, committed boyfriend. Most guys where I live and in my age range aren't looking for a serious relationship, which is what I want, as opposed to the rampant hookup culture that's surrounding my generation.
In high school I talked to this one guy for about a year. We were on-and-off "hooking up," and by hooking up I mean just making out because we never got past second base. Woman A: I try not to think of it in terms of what "counts" or not, more for my own sanity than anything else.
I think focusing primarily on those acts is great because they allow you to actually get good at foreplay and you're really concentrating on getting each other off. Doing things outside of penetrative sex feels like it's enough experience to get me up to par with other girls my age so I can participate in conversations related to the topic.
I am very aware though that I am missing out on the experience of intercourse and the cultural significance that comes with it.
I feel left out of my generation. In terms of compromising my virginity, I do feel like fingering and oral sex are foreplay and are different than sex, but I will say that I wouldn't participate in anal sex because logistically it's a similar penetrative experience that I would want to have vaginally first and it seems pretty painful so I wouldn't want that to be my first penetrative sexual experience with a partner.
Woman B: I guess I could say that I'm not really a virgin since I'd started to have sex with a woman, but I don't really count that experience because of how terrible it was and how brief it was, not because of the gender.
I'm attracted to guys, so for me penetrative sex with guys is what counts. I probably would still consider myself a virgin if I had just given a guy a blow job or whatever though. I guess it all goes to show how socially constructed it all is. Woman C: I don't think any of the above "count" as much as penetrative sex. I feel like in an ideal relationship, you get through all those other sexual things before actually having penetrative sex.
The penetrative sex is the big one, the highlight, and you wait for that. So I don't think that hand jobs, fingering, or oral sex count. Do your friends know that you're a virgin? How did they react when you told them? Woman A: My close friends know. Everyone is pretty accepting because I'm blessed with intelligent, fabulously feminist women that know my worth does not rely on my virginity. I'm sure I also have some street cred because I've dated people and done a lot of other sexual stuff.
There are a few friends that are more sexually active than I am and try to pitch me the "it doesn't matter" or "it's not that big a deal" after-school-special kind of nonsense about virginity.
0コメント